So, I am currently a single lady. I enjoy meeting new people, especially attractive, awesome single dudes. I also enjoy yoga, and would love to date a man who does yoga. He doesn't have to be as committed as I am, but an interest in it is a definite plus.
I do online dating, and I have mixed feelings about it. Unfortunately, it seems to be a necessity for me, otherwise I would almost never ever meet any eligible men. I work in a field full of (lots of other single) women and gay dudes, so the chances of me starting a romance through work are very slim. I don't really go out to bars often and don't really want to meet anyone at a bar because that usually only leads to one or both of us getting drunk and trouble happening in one way or another. But overall, I do enjoy online dating. It can be very interesting. So there you go.
Anyway, I recently had a date where I met up with a guy to go check out a yoga class and then discuss it afterwards. The cool part of this was that it was actually his idea. It was great because I thought to myself -even if things don't work out with the guy, at least I'm getting a yoga class in to my week and I give points to myself for multi-tasking! I don't really want to sacrifice my yoga for dating, nor sacrifice my dating for yoga, so this seemed like a good idea.
As soon as I agreed to it, I started to get nervous. What was I thinking? Was this a bad idea? What the hell would I wear?
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| muscle leggings by black milk |
I thought it would be best if we met a little ahead of time before the class so that when we first met each other, it would be a private experience, not shared by everyone else at the yoga studio. I imagined the scene: me nervously shedding layers and shoes in a tiny space while signing in, mystery man walks in right as I'm balancing on one leg taking off a shoe, we both look at each other wondering if we are the expected person, awkwardly exchange hellos, a possible hug, meanwhile the yogis in the room are trying to shed their own layers, I've still got one shoe in my hand, aware that everyone there knows that me and this man are on a first date....no thanks!
The class was an Iyengar style which I was familiar with, but my date was new to this style. Iyengar can be challenging and interesting no matter what your practice level, so I was looking forward to hearing his thoughts. He had warned me that yoga classes effect him in a way that he is really open afterwards, I guess in an emotional way? (I think he may have even used the term "emotionally raw") So, I was a little worried that the conversation might get uncomfortable. I guess that is a risk that I had not thought about when I agreed to do a yoga date. Fortunately, our post-class conversations were pretty good and things didn't get too deep too quickly. And, neither of us tooted in class, as far as I know.
So overall, I'd say that the yoga date was a pretty good idea. Regardless of whether or not there was a love connection, for me it was an enjoyable activity for a date and I'd do it again. Some pointers to think about though, if you should decide to go on a yoga date:
1) Choose a studio that neither of you have been to before, or that you don't regularly attend,so that in case things don't work out, you don't end up feeling like you can't go to that studio for a while to avoid running into your date. It's also a good idea to take a class that is less physically challenging than you usually do, or a different style, so that the experience is new for both of you. That will give you something to talk about afterwards. After all, you're not sharing this class just to show off your flexibility and inversion skills, and it's best if you don't tire yourself out so that you can actually chat later on.
2) Pack a snack and decide if you want to spend more time with this person after the class, or if you want to just end the date when the class ends. Things can get tricky if you end up going to dinner afterwards just because you're hungry and you're already out on your date. You may end up sending mixed signals. (This is where a power bar can save you, in case you are starving but still far from home and don't want to prolong the date)
3) Know that even though you are spending time with your date by experiencing this class together, you're not necessarily getting to know them through conversation. And that is OK. You can still learn a lot about someone, and assess the chemistry level that you have by experiencing quiet time together. Realize that both of you may have to deal with some emotional vulnerabilities that come up during the practice. If you are a person that becomes very open after practicing yoga, just think about what effect that may have on your experience of the date. 4) Also be aware that your hair may get messed up, your makeup may smear, and you will likely be in clothing that you wouldn't normally wear on a first date, so you might feel a little different. You might get sweaty, you might get tired, you might do something that is embarrassing and your pants may be tighter than you would usually wear on a first date. Just check in with yourself to make sure you are comfortable physically and emotionally. This sort of thing could happen on other types of dates too, like a bike-ride date, or rock climbing... just be prepared and know that you are potentially exposing your real self in a way you might not have anticipated.
5) Be open-minded. So he may not end up being the love of your life, but you are likely to remember the experience positively anyway because you took a bit of a risk, you shared yoga with a stranger, in a different way than we normally do when we go to a yoga class full of strangers. Be willing to let the experience play out naturally, and take from it what you can.
